By BE Magazine & Stephanie Sharp.
In a world that demands our constant attention, could putting down our phones be the first step toward reconnecting with ourselves, each other, and God?
When was the last time you woke up in the morning and didn't immediately reach for your phone? Or enjoyed a quiet moment without feeling the urge to check your messages, scroll through social media, or respond to yet another notification? If you're struggling to remember, you're certainly not alone.
Somewhere along the way, our phones have become an extension of ourselves. We fall asleep with them beside us, reach for them before our feet even touch the floor, and respond to their every buzz and chime as though the world might stop turning if we don't.
As we enter November, with Christmas shopping, holiday preparations, Black Friday sales, and an endless stream of notifications competing for our attention, the noise is only getting louder. In a world where we're more connected than ever, are we becoming increasingly disconnected from the things that matter most? And, perhaps more importantly, are we so busy listening to everything around us that we've forgotten how to listen to God?
The Hidden Cost of Constant Connection
As a psychotherapist and mother of young children, I'm naturally interested in understanding how our increasingly digital world is affecting mental health. Recently, I read The Anxious Generation by social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, a book that examines the profound changes smartphones and social media have brought to childhood and adolescence. The research is compelling, particularly when it comes to the mental health challenges facing young people but what struck me most wasn't necessarily what technology is doing to our children. It was what it's doing to us.
Think about it: How often do we sit through an entire meal without checking our phones? Have a conversation without glancing at a screen? Or simply allow ourselves to be bored without immediately reaching for something to entertain us? Our attention has become an extraordinarily valuable commodity. Social media platforms and digital technologies are designed to keep us engaged, scrolling, clicking, and coming back for more. And they're remarkably good at it but there's a cost to living in a constant state of distraction. One that extends beyond our ability to concentrate or get a good night's sleep. The author explores something I found particularly fascinating: the relationship between our increasingly phone-based lives and our spiritual well-being. He writes about how constant digital stimulation can interfere with the experiences that allow us to feel connected to something greater than ourselves: silence, reflection, community, and the sense of awe we experience in nature. That got my attention because as Christians, we believe we're created for something greater than the endless pursuit of the next notification. We're created for a relationship with God and relationships require something our phones are becoming very good at stealing: Our attention.
When God Has to Compete for Our Attention
One of the most intriguing parts of Haidt's book is his exploration of awe. He encourages his students to experience nature without the distraction of their phones and reflect on the wonder of the world around them. Interestingly, he identifies himself as an atheist, yet he acknowledges the importance of spiritual experiences and even draws on religious language to explore our human need for connection, meaning, and transcendence. As I read this, I couldn't help but smile because what he describes as awe, I recognize as an opportunity to experience the extraordinary beauty of God's creation. The majesty of a forest. The stillness of an early morning. The incredible complexity of the natural world. For me, these aren't simply moments of wonder. They're reminders of the Creator behind it all. And yet, how often do we miss them because we're staring at a screen?
It made me reflect on my own habits. Am I giving God the attention He deserves? Am I creating space to hear His voice? Or am I allowing the distractions of everyday life to crowd Him out?
The answers weren't entirely comfortable but sometimes, those uncomfortable realizations are exactly what we need.
Creating Space for What Matters
In my work as a psychotherapist, I often talk about boundaries. It's a word we hear everywhere these days, but one that is frequently misunderstood. Boundaries aren't about controlling what other people do. They're about taking responsibility for our own choices and behaviours. Perhaps one of the most important boundaries we can establish today is with our technology.
I'm not suggesting we throw away our phones, abandon social media, or retreat from modern life. Technology has brought incredible benefits, from advances in medicine to the ability to connect with loved ones halfway around the world but technology should be a tool that serves us, not something that controls us.
So, as we approach the busy holiday season, I'd like to offer three simple practices that can support our mental well-being while creating more opportunities to reconnect with God.
1. Start and end your day with something other than your phone.
Consider putting your phone away an hour before bedtime and resisting the temptation to pick it up during your first hour awake. Sounds simple, doesn't it? Try it! You might be surprised by just how strong the urge to check your phone can be.
Instead, reach for your Bible. Spend a few moments in prayer. Sit quietly with your morning coffee, reflecting on the day ahead. As Christmas approaches, revisit the story of Jesus' birth and the wise men who travelled to worship Him. Allow yourself to experience the wonder of the season before the world begins demanding your attention.
From a mental health perspective, creating distance from constant notifications and stimulation may help us unwind and establish healthier sleep routines. And spiritually? It creates an opportunity to begin and end our days with God rather than the endless opinions, demands, and distractions of the world.
2. Choose real connection over digital convenience.
We were never designed to do life alone. As human beings, we need connection, companionship, and a sense of belonging and as Christians, we're called to live in community with one another.
Yet technology has made it remarkably easy to substitute digital connection for genuine presence. We can attend church online while folding laundry, listen to a sermon while preparing dinner, and exchange messages with friends without ever looking them in the eye. And while these conveniences can be valuable, particularly for those unable to attend in person, they don't always replace the richness of being physically present.
There's something powerful about worshipping together. Singing alongside others. Praying for someone face-to-face. Sharing a laugh, a hug, or even a few tears. So, when you can, make the effort to be there. Put your phone away. Bring your Bible. Walk into church ready to participate, not simply observe because sometimes, what our hearts need most isn't another inspirational message on a screen. It's the presence of God experienced through genuine connection with others.
3. Step outside and rediscover the wonder of creation.
One of my favourite reminders in Scripture comes from Luke 5:16: "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." Think about that for a moment. Jesus, who had crowds following Him, people seeking His attention, and an extraordinary mission to fulfil, intentionally withdrew from the noise to spend time with His Father. If Jesus made space for stillness, shouldn't we?
In Japan, there's a practice known as shinrin-yoku, or forest bathing, which involves spending intentional time immersed in nature. Research suggests that spending time in natural environments can support mental well-being and reduce stress. As a psychotherapist, I see the value in encouraging people to step away from their daily pressures and reconnect with the world around them. As a Christian, I see something more. An opportunity to slow down long enough to recognize God's presence in the beauty of His creation.
Take a walk without your headphones. Leave the podcasts and notifications behind. Notice the trees, the changing seasons, the crisp November air. Allow yourself to be quiet because if we're constantly surrounded by noise, how will we recognize the gentle whisper of God?
The Beauty of Being Present
November has a way of slipping through our fingers. Before we know it, we're caught up in Christmas shopping, decorating, entertaining, and trying to create the perfect holiday season and somewhere in the midst of all that activity, we can lose sight of what we're actually preparing to celebrate: The birth of Jesus Christ. The arrival of a Saviour who came into this world not with the noise and spectacle we so often associate with importance, but in the quiet humility of a manger. Maybe there's something for us to learn from that. Perhaps this November, instead of adding another commitment to our calendars or another item to our shopping lists, we could give ourselves permission to do a little less. To be still. To be present. To spend more time in prayer, in genuine connection with the people we love, and in appreciation of the world God created.
While technology may keep us connected to everything happening around us, it cannot replace the peace that comes from being connected to Him. The greatest gift we can give ourselves this season isn't something we can order online, it’s the space to hear God, experience His presence, and rediscover the wonder of simply being still.
Stephanie Sharp is a Registered Psychotherapist at Strategic Solace. Connect with Stephanie on IG @missharp.
