Where Did “Agreeing to Disagree” Go?
It feels like everywhere we look—in the news, online, or even on the road—we’re surrounded by rage, hatred, and negativity.
Whatever happened to simply scrolling past, unfollowing quietly, or just moving on?
The truth is, disagreement isn’t new. It’s part of being human. My business partner of 12 years and I disagree often, and even my own son—who I love more than life—doesn’t always share my views. And yet, our love and respect for one another outweigh our differences. We “agree to disagree.” For us, that means when our choices diverge, we still honour the person. If we clash with those who know us best, how much more should we expect to differ with strangers who don’t know us at all?
I don’t agree with many family members and friends on politics, faith, crypto, vaccines, or even whether Botox is necessary. But here’s the thing: disagreement isn’t a threat. It’s a gift. It forces us to stretch, to question, to grow. If we all dressed the same, thought the same, and acted the same, one of us would be unnecessary. When we accept and appreciate each other—including our differences—we gain respect, growth, and peace, both outwardly and inwardly.
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines “agree to disagree” as “to agree not to argue anymore about a difference of opinion.” It doesn’t mean avoiding truth or conviction. It means acknowledging that neither side is likely to change, so the subject is dropped in favour of peace. Scripture commends this approach. Romans 12:18 urges, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Hebrews 12:14 (NIV) goes further, “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”
To me, it goes back to the core of my faith: unity. Unity doesn’t mean uniformity. We don’t need to agree on everything to walk in harmony. What we do need is a commitment to value the relationship above the argument. Loving our neighbour means respecting the person—even when we reject the behaviour. And anyone who has been married knows this: you cannot change someone unless they want to change – so what’s the point in arguing to death?
If the foundation of our faith is kindness, compassion, honesty, and hope, then our different viewpoints should not spark division but deepen understanding. As Ray Pritchard put it, “Live so that those who disagree with you look up to you as a model worth following.”
So instead of obsessing over what divides us, let’s choose peace. When small talk turns into heated debates about gun control, climate change, digital IDs, or if Carney is doing a good job or not, I try to step back. I’d rather preserve the relationship than win the argument. And if the conversation can’t build up, then I let it go.
We can choose unity over uniformity, compassion over criticism, and peace over pride.
Maybe the world doesn’t need us to agree on everything.
Maybe it just needs us to remember how to disagree—gracefully; without violence. Certainly without a gun.
