Double Agent No More, The Day I Stopped Living a Double Life: When Your Work and Soul Finally Meet. By Nicole Richards
When a drunk woman stumbled into my makeup studio one ordinary Tuesday. I was forced to confront the exhausting game I'd been playing with myself.
Sometimes the most unexpected encounters reveal the fractures we've been living with all along.
What happened next redefined everything I thought I knew about business, purpose, and the grey zone between them.
When Two Worlds Collided
It was mid-week, so I had no appointments scheduled. My makeup studio was mostly word of mouth, so when the door squeaked open on a quiet Tuesday afternoon I jumped a little.
Then she walked in.
Clearly intoxicated, telling the wildest story I'd ever heard. Naive me couldn't tell if it was alcohol, drugs, or both fuelling the narrative spilling out of her.
She said she'd lost her children. Her home. Her sense of self-worth.
And there I was, a wedding makeup artist with zero therapy training, wondering how on earth I was supposed to help.
She needed the bathroom and at first, I said no. Then yes.
(Obviously my boundaries were a work in progress.)
Here's the thing, I wasn't trying to be a hero. I had an intoxicated stranger in my store, I was alone, and every logical part of me was saying this is not a good idea.
But something deeper was whispering to stay present. Nudging me to take the time.
So I listened to her story. All of it. The messy, heartbreaking, disaster of her life. And just when I thought she was done, there was more tragedy to discuss.
And then I did the only thing that felt right: I went to my back closet and grabbed a bible.
If you're not religious, stick with me—this isn’t a pitch to join a club.
Sometimes Your Gut Knows Something Your Brain Doesn't
I talked to her about hope. About second chances. About how the book in my hands said she was loved, even when she couldn't feel it.
I’ve had a few of these encounters and somehow people always say the same thing:
"God doesn't love me," she whispered. "I've done too many bad things." She shook her head looking at the floor.
They say trust your gut, so I did.
I did my best to show her otherwise. We talked about forgiveness, love, redemption and repentance. I knew I only had a short time. Her eyes told me that her heart was listening. It was like a door that was wide open for a few minutes, then at some point, it slammed shut. Her spirit chose its path.
When I asked for her number to follow up, she couldn't remember it. Her address? Same problem.
After she left, I sat there kicking myself. Why didn't I pray with her? I literally had one job.
But here's the thing I carry with me all these years later: What are the odds she walked into the ONLY retail store with 30 bibles in the closet?
That moment cracked something wide open for me. Something I'd been wrestling with for months without even realizing it.
The Game of Hide and Seek
I was living a double life.
See, I'd been playing this exhausting game where I tried to be "professional business owner Nicole" at work and "real Nicole who follows Jesus" everywhere else.
The problem? These two versions of me had never been in the same room at the same time.
Like I had to choose between being successful and being myself.
As if my faith was something to apologize for instead of something that made me who I am.
Like the parts of me that cared about more than profit margins were somehow unprofessional.
The Exhausting Performance
Before that day, I was performing a carefully choreographed dance:
9-5 Nicole: Focused, professional, careful not to mention faith or values that might make clients uncomfortable
After-Hours Nicole: Authentic, guided by purpose, connected to something bigger than profit margins
Weekend Nicole: The real one who believed work should serve more than just a bank account
I thought this was normal. Professional. Smart business strategy. What I didn't realize was how exhausting it was to constantly code-switch between versions of myself.
That Tuesday taught me something no business strategy session ever could. I had a choice: Send her away and maintain Professional Nicole's boundaries, or stay present and let Real Nicole respond. In that moment, the wall between my two selves crumbled completely. I was finally in alignment.
What is alignment?
"He is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways." James 1:8 (ESV)
Alignment isn't work-life balance. Your soul isn't looking for perfectly compartmentalized boxes where Professional You lives separately from Real You.
Alignment is integrated authenticity. The ability to shed the double-minded thought process. It's the meeting place when your Wednesday morning energy matches your Sunday evening values. When you can tell your story without editing out the parts where you speak from your soul. Your work feels like an extension of who you are, not a costume you put on. And your essence, your soul, your faith in Christ is intertwined through it all.
Because when your values are aligned with who God created you to be in Christ, you end up exactly where you're meant to be for the people who need you most. You walk into every room 100% yourself. The person Christ has redeemed you to be—every single time.
What it looks like:
→ You stop code-switching between versions of yourself.
→ Your business decisions feel congruent with who you are at 3:34am.
→ The work you do serves exactly who you're meant to serve.
→ The right people find you because you're positioned exactly where you're meant to be.
Alignment isn't about having it all figured out. It's about showing up as the same person everywhere you go, trusting that your authentic self isn't unprofessional, it's how God wired you for impact.
Bottom line: Stop hiding who you really are in your work. Everything is connected by design. And when you finally let all the pieces of yourself exist in the same room? That's when the beauty of integration begins.
The Lighthouse Effect
I realized in that moment, that when you stop compartmentalizing yourself, something magical happens: You become a lighthouse, shining with the authentic light God placed within you.
You're not chasing opportunities or trying to convince people you're valuable. You're simply positioned exactly where you're meant to be, so the right people can find you.
Because when you're truly aligned, you don't attract opportunities, you attract assignments. That drunk woman wasn’t a disruption. She was the test I needed to pass. A person God positioned me to serve.
Your Work Should Impact More Than Your Bank Account
Friend, if you're tired of feeling split between who you are and what you do for work, there is another way.
A way where showing up to work feels like showing up as yourself.
Where your business strategy aligns with your personal values.
Where your impact matters as much as your income.
Because here's what that Tuesday taught me: Everything is connected. The real you shows up everywhere, or nowhere at all.
And when you finally let all the pieces of yourself exist in the same room? That's the beauty of alignment.
Everything is Connected
When you're aligned with your purpose, everything connects.
→ Faith
→ Work
→ Community
→ Values
Nothing's separate anymore. Your work and talents aren't just there for you.
When you're in the right position, you get to serve exactly the ones who need you. Sometimes that's a paying client. Sometimes it's a woman who needs hope more than lipstick.
The Fracture Most of Us Live With
If you're feeling fractured, like your work and your values are living in different time zones—you're not alone.
Most of us have been taught to compartmentalize:
Professional you at work
Spiritual you at church
Real you at home
Social media you online
The Day I Stopped Being a Double Agent
That Tuesday taught me that alignment isn't a destination, it's a daily practice of showing up as the same person everywhere you go.
I stopped asking myself:
What's the professional thing to do?
What will clients think?
How do I separate my faith from my business?
And started asking:
How do I want to show up in my life and my career?
How can I serve from my faith driven soul and be myself?
What happens when I stop hiding who I really am?
What True Alignment Actually Feels Like
Alignment isn't about:
Perfect work-life balance
Never having challenges
Everything being easy
Constant peace and harmony
Real alignment happens when:
Your nervous system recognizes truth in your choices
Your business decisions feel integrated with your values
You can show up authentically without code-switching
Your work becomes a natural extension of who you are
You attract the exact people meant to work with you
That Tuesday taught me that alignment isn't a destination, it's a daily practice of showing up as the same person everywhere you go.
The drunk woman stumbled into my studio and she found exactly who she needed because I was just me, with 30 bibles in the closet and a desire to hear God. Being myself in her time of need.
Your Work Should Have a Bigger Impact Than Your Paycheck
Friend, if you're tired of feeling split between who you are and what you do for work, what if…
↳ Your Monday morning feels as meaningful as your Sunday evening.
↳ Where your business strategy lines up with your personal values.
↳ Where showing up to work feels like showing up as yourself.
Because everything is connected. How you show up in life reflects how you show up in your career, business, faith, and relationships.
And alignment? It feels different than anything you've tried before.
The double agent life is exhausting. But integrated authenticity? That's where your real power lives.
When Your Work and Soul Finally Meet
That Tuesday, I learned something no business strategy session could teach me: When your values are aligned with who you really are, you end up exactly where you're meant to be for the people who need you most.
And what about you? You have people who need exactly what you bring when you show up fully as yourself.
The world doesn't need another perfectly polished professional. It needs more lighthouses. People brave enough to be authentically themselves in every situation.
Your double agent days can end today.
P.S. If this resonates and you're ready to explore what true alignment looks like in your work and life, the world is waiting for the real you to show up. Because when your work and soul finally meet? That's when your real impact begins.
After closing her six-figure makeup studio and leading a team of 15, Nicole Richards has dedicated herself to helping high-achievers navigate midlife transitions. Letting go of their default corporate identities and rediscovering themselves through personal reinvention. Learn more here: www.nicolerichards.co
