BE Love: What 33 Years of Marriage Have Taught Me About the Real Meaning of Love

Today October 17, my husband and I celebrate 33 years of marriage.

We met as teenagers — just two kids who lived across the street from each other. Friends at 16. Dating at 18. Married at 27, after nine and a half years of growing up together.

Our love story hasn’t been perfect, but it’s been real. Beautifully, painfully, miraculously real.

The truth is that love isn’t always a feeling. It’s a decision. It’s action. It’s choosing to show up when it would be easier to walk away.

In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul gives us the clearest, most challenging definition of love there is:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. — 1 Corinthians 13:4–8

This passage isn’t just for weddings — it’s for every day we wake up and decide who we’re going to be.

Here’s a little challenge I often give myself: Wherever the word “LOVE” appears, insert your own name. Then ask yourself, with all honesty, “am I THAT”?

[Your Name] is patient. [Your Name] is kind. [Your Name] keeps no record of wrongs…

It’s convicting, isn’t it? It reminds us that love isn’t something we feel — it’s something we become.

If we want to BE love — in marriage, in friendship, in our homes and workplaces — we have to let the Holy Spirit shape us into people who live these words out loud.

After 33 years, I’ve learned that love is less about romance and more about reflection — letting God’s love reflect through us, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

Because true love isn’t about perfection.
It’s about persistence.
It’s about grace.

And it’s about becoming more like the One who loved us first.