Season’s Grievings

I put my Christmas tree up early this year, in the middle of November. My boys kept asking about it, and I thought it would be fun. We decorated it with twinkly lights and unpacked each of our ornaments, none of which had seen the light of day in over two years. It looked beautiful.

But when the boys went to bed that first night, I cried. The experience had been triggering for me, and I needed time to step back and reflect. Some of the ornaments that hang from my tree hold sentimental value to me, and I can recall when they were received. I received some of them when I was still married- when they were received as a couple. And the smell of pine, which now infiltrates every room, brings memories of a Christmastime from the past, of sweetness and excitement and an innocence that I no longer carry.

It took a hot second for me to realize that I’m still grieving. Christmas has always been my favorite time of year, but I’ve been hit with some pretty hard blows over the past few years, and some of them have happened right around the holidays. I want to celebrate, but I think it’s important for me to acknowledge that there are some complicated emotions and feelings that come up for me during this time of the year. 

It’s the season for love, peace and joy. But what if you’re in a season of sadness, loneliness or despair? Even if your reason for grieving doesn’t coincide with Christmas, the holidays have a way of bringing those things to our minds. If you’ve lost someone close to you or have been navigating a broken relationship, the emphasis on family around the holidays might be challenging for you. Perhaps you’ve recently moved, or you're a student in a new city. Spending the holidays alone can be so hard, and doesn’t resonate at all with the vision of Christmastime that we see in all of our favorite holiday movies.

If you’re grieving right now, let me remind you what the Bible tells us about how Jesus spent his time on earth:

“He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.” Isaiah 53:3

When I was growing up, my parents used to change our voicemail around the holidays. They’d always sign off with a reminder that “Jesus is the reason for the season.” Isn’t it interesting to consider that the reason for the season is a man who was rejected; a man of suffering; a man familiar with pain. 

When we think about Jesus around Christmastime, it’s typically images of a tiny baby in a manger. But let’s take a moment to consider who that baby boy becomes. The passage in Isaiah continues to tell us this,

“Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:4-5

I want to remind you that he is with you. In the midst of your sadness, he offers you joy. In the midst of your loneliness, he showers you with love and such beautiful companionship. In the midst of your despair, he offers peace - more than you can understand or comprehend. He is never far from the brokenhearted. And by his wounds, we are healed.