The Kitchen Table Principles

The 3 greatest business lessons I’ve ever learned came from my Mom.

Some of the most important lessons I’ve learned about work didn’t come from a boardroom, they came from my mom. Before I had any clue what business was, I watched her rebuild her life under pressure, navigate uncertainty, and start over in a new career while holding our family together.

Widowed at 44.

A single mom of 3 teenage children.

Back to school at 46 to start again.

Two near bankruptcies.

Family home mortgaged to the edge and almost lost.

And yet, in the end, she paid off our family home, put her kids through college and university, and built an inheritance.

How did she do this?

I still remember the nights I would come downstairs after a round of late-night studying to find her sitting at the kitchen table, the house quiet around her, with a stack of bills spread out in front of her. She had paused her first career as a teacher to stay at home with her children, and now 20 years later, there she was, bearing the weight of not knowing what to do next.

There was nothing overnight about her transformation. It was slow, hard, and filled with setbacks. She went back to school, surrounded by people half her age, to learn to navigate a work world she wasn’t familiar with. Despite the hindrances, she kept moving forward. And not only did she build a new career in real estate, she went on to break sales records and earn many awards in her field.

She may not have had a formal business background, but the three greatest business lessons I’ve learned about work came from watching my mom at her kitchen table. I call these lessons: The Kitchen Table Principles.

#1 Don’t get up from the table until you’ve decided you’re not giving up

I watched my mom sit with fear, uncertainty and impossibility—really sit with them—until she was able to look them straight in the eye and say “Enough, I’m moving forward despite you.” She didn’t wait for confidence to show up before taking action. She grew in confidence by taking action.

#2 Always make room at the table for people, because nothing gets built alone

Loving people was my mom’s superpower, so no one was a stranger for long. She believed in the power of home-cooked meals at her kitchen table, where conversations turned into relationships, and relationships turned people into family. To my mom, there was no such thing as “just business,” because to her, it was always personal. Clients were never just customers; they were her friends. Business was a by-product of her relationships.

#3 Put it on the table, even if it could cost you everything

My mom was the definition of an entrepreneur. I watched her take risks that most people wouldn’t dare try … Mortgaging the house; starting over, not once but several times; and putting her own finances on the line to help others, to name a few. Some of her ideas worked, and some failed badly. But she never let failure be the thing that defined her. What mattered to her was that she was always willing to put her ideas on the table and take the risk. My mom lived by the belief that taking the risk is always a win, whether or not it works out, because even if you fail, you’ll grow from it and become better.

“Love one another as I have loved you.” 

(John 15:12, ESV))

A Mother’s Legacy

It’s been just a couple of years since my mom passed away, but the kitchen is still my favorite place to be, especially the kitchen table.

Because now I understand what the kitchen table really was.

It wasn’t just where meals were shared.

It was where decisions were made,

Where fears were faced,

Where risks were taken,

and where futures were imagined and built.

And long before I ever sat at a boardroom table, I learned that the most important work happens in places no one sees, like at the kitchen table, late at night when everyone is asleep.

So to all the mothers, those still with us and those who we carry in our hearts, thank you for all the work you do, seen and unseen.

We’re building upon what you started.

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Amanda Stassen writes about leadership, work and the human side of building what lasts. Follow @buildwithbizu.