The God of second chances. (Or man shopping with Jesus in tow)

I shared this chapter of my story before but Since it’s wedding season, I thought I’d share my own love mulligan story.

All my life, “real love” was the one thing I wanted most and seemed least likely to get. After enough heartbreak, disappointment, and trying to force what never truly fitted, I got to a place where being alone felt easier than risking more pain. I still wanted real love, but I had stopped believing it would come in the way I had once imagined. No Cinderella story for me, so I thought.

Then I did something I never expected to be doing in my 50s: I joined a dating app and started “man shopping”. At first, it was more just to meet someone to go out for dinner, be friends with. To say I was unimpressed would be putting it mildly. I swiped left – A LOT!. I blocked more men than I can remember. I did not fully know what I wanted, but I absolutely knew what I did not want. I was no longer willing to entertain confusion, compromise my values, or settle just because I was tired of waiting. It was ALL OR NOTHING! 

I wanted:

• A real partner (can we underline that twice somehow?);

• Someone as driven as I was (I even said to my now husband when we met that I didn’t have time for him Monday to Friday!);

• Someone mature;

• Someone who shared my faith, my values, my culture, and my desire to build a real life together.

• I wanted someone to laugh with, pray with, travel with, and do life with.

• Someone who would make my life better.

• Though I was seeking a teammate, I was longing for someone to build the final chapters of my life

• AND, at this stage, I was also looking to have the fairytale: I once wrote in a journal that I wanted to be someone’s favourite hello and hardest goodbye.  I wanted to live the fantasy. I wanted the Hallmark movie love story, hear “I can’t live without you”! Someone to hold hands, to kiss without holding back. Idealistic? Too good to be true? I didn’t care… I was totally ok on my own.

Dating as a woman of faith who always loves too much

In your 20s, it’s about building a life, a career, your first house, kids maybe. But in your 50s, I feel it’s about finding a best friend. Someone you can actually talk and laugh with and plan those last few decades of your life.

I have a career, a car and a house I love. I’m not looking for more kids. I’m looking to travel, to go for dinner, to explore and have a companion I am proud to introduce to friends and family. Someone who will share my passions and hobbies. Someone who will have my back!

People say dating later in life is easier because you are financially stable and know yourself better. LIES! Let me just say this: the pool is small! In fact, to be honest, it’s really a puddle - especially that there are more of them and less of us!  I heard someone say that dating in your 50s is like thrifting: it’s about picking through what is left, trying to find the less smelly and less beat-up thing in the store!

On the app, many men were messaging solely for a physical relationship. I guess after broken marriages, men weren’t looking for anything long term. I’m certainly no spring chicken or a trophy wife but it felt as if men in my age group were looking for women who were at least 10 to 15 years younger. Middle life crisis? I understand we all have baggage and bruises but, for a woman of faith, the pool gets even smaller. Compatibility is not just about chemistry. It is about conviction. It is about whether two people are actually walking in the same direction.

That was the lesson I had already learned the hard way. After spending nearly four years with someone who did not share my faith, I knew I could never make that compromise again. Faith is not a side note in a relationship. It shapes your choices, your priorities, your understanding of love, sacrifice, forgiveness, commitment, and purpose. Scripture is clear that alignment matters. Modern dating says chemistry is enough. The Bible says foundation matters more. One may create excitement for a while. Only the other can sustain a life.

My love mulligan 

Then came Eric. The miracle of our story is that we were not even supposed to meet. We were on two different apps owned by the same company. He was in Kingston, with his search set toward Quebec because of his children. I was in the Greater Toronto Area, with no interest whatsoever in long-distance anything. But after enough left swipes on both sides, somehow the apps made our paths crossed, and there we were. We only realized much later just how unlikely it all was and how God is Lord even over the algorithm. What looked random at the time now feels like one more example of God quietly arranging what I could never have orchestrated myself.

When we first connected, he wanted to meet quickly. I said no. I wanted to make sure we were truly compatible before attraction had the chance to interfere with wisdom. So we texted. A LOT! Then we talked on the phone. That is when we discovered we both had huge French accents – another connection! Three months later, we agreed to meet halfway between our cities. He organized the date. We spent the day walking, talking, laughing, and sharing our stories, our hopes, and the parts of ourselves that mattered most. I fell fast. I fell hard. I finally had found my love story but more than that, this time, it was also about substance.

A little over a year later, during the 2024 holidays, dressed in black, we were married in Bromont surrounded by snow, friends, and family. In my vows, I said that typically vows are often promises made in hope, but mine were made in certainty. That was exactly how it felt. Not fear. Not striving. Not confusion. Certainty.

What moved me most was not simply that I had found my one true love, but that I had finally experienced the kind of love that brings peace. The kind that heals instead of wounds. The kind that pieces you back together and steadies you. The kind that makes the past lose its grip. The kind that reflects, however imperfectly, the love of God.

I had wanted love all my life, but I can honestly say now that I had never fully known it before. Not like this. Through this marriage, I realize that I settled in the past. I just desperately wanted love. I guess I didn’t know better. I since have seen more clearly the tenderness of God, His timing, His protection, and His ability to restore what we thought had passed us by. He did not just bring me a husband. He gave me a second chance!

So for anyone dating and discouraged, here is my advice: do not compromise!

You see,

Marriage is hard.

Relationships are hard.

Entrepreneurship is hard.

Being healthy can be hard.

LIFE IS HARD!

Everything asks something of us. So do not choose a relationship that makes an already hard life even harder. Choose someone who strengthens your walk, protects your peace, and calls you higher, to be the best version of yourself.

Trust God enough to wait for what is right.

Since faith is believing in what we cannot yet see, trust God to be your matchmaker! Trusting the God who is Lord over tomorrow is more than able to handle your love story too.

Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labour in vain. And sometimes, in His mercy, He does not just build. He rebuilds.

Psalm 124: What if the lord had not been on our side?

Psalm 127: unless the lord builds a house the work of builders is wasted

MY VOWS:

Eric, You came into my life like a whirlwind and changed everything. Without a doubt, you are my one great love. You bring me more joy than I ever could have imagined. In just one year, you’ve given me more love than I’ve known in a lifetime—more than I ever thought possible. You make me a better person—a better mom, a better boss, a better daughter, and a better follower of Jesus. I feel truly blessed to be part of your life and to have the privilege of walking this journey with you, starting today and forever.

Traditionally, vows are promises made in hope, but I don’t make these vows in hope—I make them in certainty. I am sure. You are my partner, my lover, my best friend, my soulmate. And today, I don’t just promise; I choose to love you in a way that makes the past fade away. I promise to stand by your side forever, to support and encourage you in all you do. Everything I am and all I have is yours.

These vows aren’t just promises; they are privileges. I get to laugh with you and cry with you. I get to care for you and share with you. I get to build with you and live alongside you. I choose to honor and cherish you—not because I have to, but because I want to. I marry you with my eyes wide open, embracing our future together. You have helped me let go of the past, and I welcome the future with open arms.

Thank you for making me laugh again, for healing my heart, for piecing me back together. I give you this ring as a symbol of a love with no end. Today, I choose you to be my husband, now and forever. This is our new beginning—a new chapter. God has given us a second chance at happiness, and together we will wipe the old canvases of our lives clean, letting God fill them with new, beautiful memories.

Eric, I choose you today, tomorrow, and every day after that. Here and now, I pledge my life to yours. No matter where life leads us, I know that as long as you are there, I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.

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