Influenced: Why every generation has something to teach us
Ever since my gig on The Traitors Canada last fall, I am far less interested in surrounding myself with people who look exactly like me, vote like me, dress like me or were born the same decade I was.
I've discovered one of life's sweetest gifts is friendship that spans generations. Some of my greatest influences are women twenty years older than me. Some are thirty years younger.
One week I'm admiring Vera Wang's ability to redefine style decade after decade. The next I'm listening to Madi Prewett Troutt boldly speak biblical truth to millions of young women without apology. Somewhere in between I'm copying something Laura Kim styled on her feed while rereading notes from a Lisa Harper bible study.
It struck me during those July filming days, sequestered in a Quebec “manoir” bonding with individuals I’d probably not have encountered were it not for us all participating in a reality tv show, that I don't want to become the oldest, wisest person in every room. That sounds exhausting. I'd much rather always be learning.
The Apostle Paul told young Timothy,
"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers..." (1 Timothy 4:12)
I’ve heard that verse referenced countless times as an encouragement for young people. But what if it's also a gentle reminder to the rest of us. Don't dismiss wisdom simply because it comes wrapped in younger skin.
Timothy learned from Paul. Paul was encouraged by Timothy. Both became stronger because they listened to each other. The same is true throughout Scripture. Naomi guided Ruth. Ruth restored Naomi's hope. Elizabeth encouraged Mary. Mary's visit filled Elizabeth with joy. God rarely works in one direction. Wisdom flows both ways. Science tells us our brains continue forming new neural pathways (the word of the day is neuroplasticity - your brain's ability to absorb information and evolve to manage new challenges) when we keep learning, trying new things and refusing to become rigid in our thinking. I like to think my adult children are contributing to mine every time they reorganize my cutlery drawer.
I am convinced staying young isn't about finding the perfect anti-aging cream. I think the fountain of youth is more about refusing to stop being curious. Listening more than talking. Watching people who challenge you, instead of simply confirming what you already believe. Allowing someone thirty years younger to introduce you to a new concealer. Allowing someone forty years older to remind you that God has always been faithful. I've stopped asking whether someone is older or younger than I am. Now I ask a better question: "What can I learn from this person?"
Part of the surrender and obedience we are called to is recognizing that God has placed teachers all around us. Some have grandchildren. Some still live with their parents.
People sometimes do a double take when I casually say, “I was talking to my girlfriend in Naples.” Then I add, “She’s 80.” Pause. I get the same look when I mention another girlfriend who just had a baby. “No, not a grandbaby. A baby. She’s 32.”
I want women in my life who remember decades I only read about, and women who are still figuring out how to install a car seat. I want friends who have buried husbands, built businesses, raised children, changed careers, survived heartbreak, studied Scripture, started podcasts, gone back to school, and yes, occasionally explained to me why my eyeliner is aging me. Humbling? Deeply. Necessary? Absolutely.
Intergenerational friendships stretch me. They correct me. They soften me. They keep me curious. They remind me that wisdom is not reserved for the old, and courage is not reserved for the young. Paul told Timothy not to let anyone look down on him because he was young, but he also mentored him, loved him, corrected him, and trusted him. That is the beautiful exchange. One generation speaks. Another listens. Then, if we are wise, we trade places.
My goal is to remain teachable enough to recognize God may be answering me through someone with silver hair, a stroller, a lifetime achievement award, or a podcast I barely know how to find each week.
The Voices I’m Choosing Right Now
Fashion
Vera Wang - @verawang Everyone knows her bridal gowns, but it's her personal style (usually in her own ready-to-wear pieces) that captivates me. There's a nuanced romance to how she dresses.
Laura Kim - @tokibunbun Co-founder of Monse. She'll take a cardigan, a white button-down or a pair of trousers we've all seen a million times and tweak one detail - a shoulder, a waistband, a proportion - and suddenly it's fresh. She reminds me that creativity is sometimes simply about looking at something familiar from a completely different angle.
Beauty
Maggie Awbrey @maggiexawbrey - Has her finger on the newest and best. For example it was her feed that introduced me to Natasha Denona Concealer. My ride or die - creamy enough for the most mature under eye skin.
Grandma Nancy @beauty.nncy – her skin is goals and she is 68.
Bible Study
Lord, Teach Me to Study the Bible in 28 Days by Kay Arthur - If you've ever wanted to study Scripture rather than simply read it, start here.
Who Are You Following Bible Study by Sadie Robertson Huff – Pursuing Jesus in a Social Media Obsessed World.
Podcast
Stay True Podcast by Madi Prewett Troutt - Honest conversations about faith, relationships and living courageously as a Christian.
Back Porch Theology with Lisa Harper - this woman never ceases to make me laugh. Her transparency is brilliant.
